


Muse

by WinterPhantom



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Artist Reader, Awkwardness, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, But action too, Domestic Avengers, Everyone is friends yay, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I love Sam and Bucky, I think?, Invisibility, Kind of everything, Mutant Reader, Reader-Insert, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson is also a flirt, Slow Burn, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, basically all of the avengers, bucky is an avenger, reader is an avenger, shy reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-04-29 21:49:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14481912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterPhantom/pseuds/WinterPhantom
Summary: The new Avengers recruit doesn’t say much. Neither does Bucky. Yet something seems to bedrawingthem together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Back with a brand new series. I'm sorry about the terrible pun in the summary. I couldn't resist.
> 
> This will probably be longer than what I've done before, and the pacing is a bit different; slower, I guess. I tried to really focus on developing the relationships between the Avengers and reader - I want you to feel like a part of the team. There's a bit of everything in here. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Just a note: Reader's powers can be triggered by emotions, and so there are definitely some depictions of anxiety/social anxiety in here, maybe minor panic attacks (I base this stuff on my own experiences) so please avoid if that may be triggering for you, although I try not to go too in depth with those descriptions.

You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for what is about to happen.

You were just about to come face to face with an entire team of superheroes. No big deal, right?

_Breathe. Just breathe._

The elevator door opens, and you reluctantly step forward.

The first face you see is none other than that of Captain America himself, Steve Rogers. He notices you too, and smiles. You’re grateful for this, since you’d met him before. A familiar face might make this a little easier.

In an effort to make this as casual as possible, you were meeting with the Avengers over at the tower. Everyone was milling about the living room area, waiting for your arrival. You scan the room as Steve walks over to you, greeting you as if you were old friends. 

“Hey, Cap,” you respond, mustering as much of a smile as you can. 

“You doing okay?” he asks, concern flooding his blue eyes.

You shrug. 

“Nervous?” he questions, the comforting smile reappearing on his face.

You nod in response.

“Don’t worry. I know it’s a lot, but everyone will like you just fine,” he assures you, placing a hand on your back to escort you to where the rest of the team is waiting. Steve puts you at ease, so you’re glad he’s the first one to see you. His presence has the complete opposite effect on you than your other _boss…_

Tony yells your name from across the room. Every Avenger turns to look at you. 

You swallow, fighting the urge to disappear that’s threatening to overwhelm you. Steve seems to notice, and applies just the tiniest amount of pressure to your back. Grounding you. Reminding you to stay… present. You glance up at him, sending a silent thank you. He nods, and turns to the rest of the team.

“Guys, this is the new recruit Tony and I have been telling you about. Please do your best to make her feel at home.”

“And you should see what she can do!” Tony interjects. You step just the tiniest bit closer to Steve. You really liked Tony, but he was… a lot. And you didn’t need this right now, not with your heartbeat already racing.

“I think it’s best we leave demonstrations to another day. How about we just stick to introductions?” Steve suggests in a tone that makes it obvious it’s not really a suggestion. You let yourself breathe again. 

Tony nods, chuckling, and Steve ushers you forward, towards the group.

-

You find yourself shocked at how well your first meeting with the Avengers was going. Everyone was surprisingly friendly, and nobody tried to press you too hard for any information, besides Tony, that is. You knew he was just teasing you though.

However, as you think you’ve finished with your introductions, Steve pulls you aside. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” Steve begins, but you shake your head.

“No worries, Cap. I don’t mind taking a break,” you say, relaxing slightly and giving him a small smile.

“There’s, uh-” he pauses. “I would like to introduce you to Bucky.”

Bucky. Right. You hate to admit it, but you’d almost forgotten him. Of course, before you’d met the Avengers, Steve and Tony had briefed you on who they were and what to expect. They hadn’t given you much detail on Bucky, but you knew who he was anyways. Former Winter Soldier, Howling Commando, Steve’s best friend from way back when. Steve had made sure to assure you that his past was just that, firmly behind him. He’d said he was adjusting to life as an Avenger as well as could be expected. You weren’t scared of Bucky, but you were afraid of making him feel uncomfortable. You didn’t want your arrival to add any extra stress to his life.

You follow Steve’s gaze over to the kitchen, were the man you presume to be Bucky leans on the counter, a drink in his hand. His haunting blue gaze is trained directly on you. You’re paralyzed for just a moment. 

You take in his long chestnut hair, falling slightly over his face. High cheekbones, strong jawline dotted with stubble, full lips. Not to mention his ethereal bright blue eyes. He’s… _beautiful_. Not really what you were expecting from the former Winter Soldier. 

When he sees you both looking over, he drops his gaze and sips whatever drink he’s holding. Steve looks back at you, offering a smile, and leads you over to him. You try to control your erratic breathing.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve greets him. Bucky nods at him, eyes flitting between you and Steve.

“This is Y/N,” Steve continues, “she’ll be joining the team, if all goes well.” He grins at you, and turns back to Bucky.

Bucky fixes his gaze on you again for a few seconds.

“Nice to meet you,” he says, quietly. He doesn’t seem to be being disingenuous. His voice is gravelly, but soft all at once.

Fearing that your voice might fail you, you smile at him as best as you can and nod. Seemingly satisfied, he looks away and takes another sip of his drink. 

Steve is the one to break the ensuing silence. He clears his throat, and then addresses you.

“I should show you where you’ll be staying once you move in.” 

“Right, uh, yeah,” you reply, eager to escape the current situation.

Steve starts down the hall towards the accommodations. You follow.

-

The rest of the night passes without incident. You don’t stay long after your unofficial tour with Steve, just long enough to say your goodbyes. Bucky stays just slightly away from everyone, interacting as minimally as possible. He watches as you flit around the room, that haunting gaze trailing you. However, just as you finish with the rest of the team, you notice he’s nowhere to be found. You turn towards Steve, who’s chatting with Sam across the room. He catches your eye and shrugs at you. 

You offer one last goodbye to the room and step into the elevator. Your breathing returns to normal. At least you made it through the night without actually disappearing… although the same couldn’t be said about Bucky Barnes. You push thoughts of him away for the time being. Excitement and panic rise in you at the same time as you descend. 

_I’m going to be an Avenger._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys liked this! I'm really excited about writing this series. I'm already pretty far into it and we're in for quite a ride.
> 
> Did I purposefully put the breathe thing from Star Wars in here? No. Is that the last time this series will reference Star Wars, accidentally or not? Also no. I wrote part of this while watching Star Wars too. It's apparently been quite prevalent recently in my life I guess, lol.
> 
> Just so we're clear this will obviously not be compliant with Infinity War so no spoilers, but WOW that movie.
> 
> Anyways, thanks so much for reading and I hope you're as excited about this as I am.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You move into the tower, and get a little more familiar with some of its residents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA the one where I try to describe the weird made-up invisibility power I gave the reader. 
> 
> Also I have no idea why it took me this long to write Sam Wilson, I love the Sam/Bucky dynamic.

You glide your pencil across the page absentmindedly, thinking about meeting the Avengers. Today was the day you were moving into the tower. 

Despite everything going well when you were all introduced, you were nervous about living with the team, since you’d never actually worked with them before. You’d only been on a few covert missions supervised by Steve or Tony when your particular skillset was required. You felt a bit out of place; after all, you weren’t a badass spy, a super soldier, a demigod, or any sort of genius. Sure, you were intellectually sufficient and well-trained in combat from your time with SHEILD, but your main power was just… disappearing. Turning invisible didn’t seem quite on par with the rest of the team’s skills. 

Your power was interesting. In theory, it was easy to control. Basically, if you wanted to turn invisible, you would. However, in reality that feeling occurred far too frequently. Just being nervous was enough to do it sometimes. That’s what the drawing helped with; keeping you grounded and making sure you didn’t vanish. If you got overly distracted, it was easy for your mind to drift away, and your physical form along with it. Holding something, feeling something real was key to keeping you visible. Funnily enough, it was easier for you to disappear than not to most of the time.

For far from the first time since your first meeting, your mind wanders back to Bucky. You couldn’t seem to get his gaze out of your head. He was so striking, and yet so good at being unassuming. You’d never seen someone vanish that easily who didn’t have the benefit of invisibility. Although, come to think of it, stealth must have been vital for an assassin. _No._ You push the thought from your mind. Clearly Bucky wanted to put his past behind him, so you shouldn’t be thinking about it. 

Sighing, you glance down at your page. While you had been thinking, your hands had continued drawing of their own accord. Staring back at you were a pair of eyes, sketched roughly but clearly recognizable as those of none other than Bucky Barnes. _Of course._ You stare at the picture for a while, then rip the page out and throw it away. You’d have to be more careful. If you were going to live under the same roof as the team, you surely couldn’t be caught drawing pictures of your colleague. You get up from where you’re sitting to finish packing your bags.

-

“This all you got?” Tony asks, pointing to the few bags you drag out of the elevator.

You nod.

“Geez, remind me to give you a bigger paycheck so that you can splurge a little.”

You chuckle at him, and he grins back. 

You turn to bring your bags to your room, and spot Steve sitting on the couch. Next to him, of course, is Bucky. Those captivating eyes meet yours once more. You tear your eyes away to glance at Steve, who is now standing up and strolling towards you. He greets you, and to your surprise, Bucky moves to follow him to where you’re standing. However, he stays a step behind him. 

“Welcome home,” Steve declares, smiling warmly at you. “Need some help with those?”

He gestures to your bags.

“Uh, yeah, if you wouldn’t mind…” you reply sheepishly.

“I’m sure our two hulking super soldiers won’t mind helping you out with that,” Tony assures you. “I’ll see you all later.”

With a wave, he’s gone.

Steve chuckles, shaking his head at Tony.

“He givin’ you a hard time?” 

“No more than usual,” you respond, smirking. 

He grins back, before picking up a bag like it weighs nothing at all. You swear you see a flicker of a smile cross Bucky’s face before he does the same, and the three of you head towards your room.

-

“I guess we’ll leave you to unpack, then?” 

Steve lays the last of your bags next to the bed.

“Thanks Cap… Bucky,” you stammer, nodding in their direction. Bucky nods back at you.

“Don’t be a stranger,” Steve answers back. “Once you’re settled in, we’ll be around if you need anything. The rest of the team too.”

The friendly smile remains on his face. You appreciate how nice he’s being to you, but honestly, the last thing you need is to be surrounded by everyone on your first day there. So you simply nod again, and Steve leaves you be with Bucky sauntering out behind him. You can’t help but watch him as he leaves.

When the door closes, you let out a breath and let your posture relax. There was something so captivating about Bucky; the way he moved, the way he looked, and that quiet intensity that seemed to follow him wherever he went. For only meeting him a few times, he’d made quite the impact on you. But he made you nervous, and probably not for the reasons people might expect. You weren’t totally sure how to interact with him. Not yet.

You rummage through you bags and pull out your sketchbook and some pencils. To keep your anxiety down, you start sketching while sitting at the desk tucked in the corner of your room. You had to admit, Tony Stark had _style._ The accommodations were far more luxurious than you were used to. There was a giant bed in the middle of the room, a closet that you couldn’t even fill up halfway, and a wall of windows with a great view of the city. And, of course, each room had its own bathroom, which was much nicer than even the fanciest of hotels. Again, you wonder if you really fit in here.

You turn your attention to the page in front of you and try to focus on what you’re drawing lest you have a repeat of what happened earlier. You forcefully push Bucky’s face out of your brain.

-

A knock on your door breaks your concentration. You’re not sure how long you’ve been sketching, but the pages in front of you are almost totally covered. 

“Hey, it’s Steve. Can I come in?”

You shoot back a “sure” as loudly as you can, and Steve opens the door.

“Hey,” he says, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Hey Cap,” you respond, shutting the sketchbook and turning to face him. 

“You can just call me Steve, you know,” he tells you, laughing.

You can feel yourself getting flustered again.

“Right, uh, Steve, what’s up?” you say, attempting to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“Just checking up on you. I figured you might want something to eat at some point today.” He smiles that perfect smile again.

You check your phone. You had been cooped up in your room longer than you’d realized. 

“Um, yeah, I guess I probably should…” you reply timidly.

“Me, Sam and Bucky are ordering pizza, if you’re interested. Otherwise, I think Tony and some of the others are going out for dinner…”

Your face must have given away how you feel about that option, because Steve chuckles at you again.

“Okay, what do you like on your pizza?” 

-

Steve had texted you to inform you that the pizza had arrived, so you’re currently making your way down the hallway towards the kitchen. You overhear some voices, which you assume belong to Steve, Sam and Bucky.

“She’s cute, huh?” You think that’s Sam.

You hear someone scoff, and assume it’s Steve.

“Seriously. What do you think, Mecha Man?” Sam again.

You hear someone grunt but you don’t hear an answer. You wonder what they’re talking about. 

As you turn the corner into the room, the three men all turn to look at you. Bucky’s eyes seem to widen slightly when he sees you, but his mask of stoicism falls back into place in an instant. Steve sits at the head of the table, Bucky sitting to one side and Sam on the other. _Man, that’s a lot of pizza,_ you think to yourself. Boxes are strewn haphazardly across the table, some empty and others looking like a pack of wild animals had mauled the contents. You stifle a giggle. You guess it shouldn’t surprise you, given all three were huge guys, two being freaking _super soldiers._ They probably went through a lot of food.

“Hey! She finally decides to show herself!” Sam shouts at you, smirking. Steve offers you a wave while Bucky nods at you, just as you did to him earlier.

“Hi guys,” you greet, approaching the table tentatively.

“Take your pick,” Steve says gesturing to the mess around them. “Sorry, we might’ve gotten a bit carried away.”

You giggle as Sam continues to smirk at you. The corner of Bucky’s mouth twitches upwards. You scan the table and make your choice, picking a plate up from the end of the table and throwing a few slices onto it. 

“You want a drink?” Sam asks, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Sam, please don’t try to get the new recruit drunk before her first training session tomorrow,” Steve sighs, shaking his head.

Sam raises his hands defensively.

“Hey man, I was just gonna offer her some water.”

“Sure you were.” Steve laughs, standing up. He walks to the fridge, grabs a bottle of water and tosses it to you. 

You grab it midair, and Sam responds with an appreciative whistle.

“Good reflexes. That’s a plus.” 

Bucky looks rather unamused while Steve just shakes his head, smile never faltering. 

“So,” Sam continues, “besides the quick reflexes, what’s your thing?”

You freeze up for a second. You weren’t really fond of discussing your powers. Your fingers twitch, anxious for a pencil or anything to occupy themselves with. You try to think of how to answer while also trying to focus on _not_ immediately giving him a demonstration. Bucky’s piercing eyes land on yours for a moment, as if he can sense your discomfort. 

Steve, however, being more familiar with how your brain works, swoops in to save you again.

“Quit being impatient, Sam. You’ll find out tomorrow,” he chastises him.

You shift uncomfortably, not knowing whether to sit with them or take the food back to your room.

“Fine, keep your secrets for now,” Sam states, waving a hand dismissively. “But tell me this… you like movies?”

The question knocks you off guard for a moment, but you nod, feeling the smile creep back onto your face. Sam beams back at you.

“Good. I’m trying to catch these _senior citizens,_ ” he gestures to Steve and Bucky, “up on all the best ones they missed. Tonight’s Star Wars night. You up for that?”

You hesitate for a moment, but ultimately agree.

“Sure.”

-

Steve and Bucky were sitting on the couch in the middle of the living room. Sam had opted for the chair next to where Steve was sitting, so you took the one across from him, putting you next to Bucky. You had spent the first few minutes of the movie trying not to stare at him, and you’d caught him turning his attention towards you more than once. After a while, though, you’d gotten wrapped up in the movie playing in front of you. Sam occasionally piped up, providing some clever commentary and making you laugh. By the end of the movie, you were the most relaxed you’d been in a long time. 

Just as the credits start rolling, Tony and the rest of the team amble from the elevator out into the common room. You unintentionally let out a squeak, causing Sam and Steve to burst out laughing. You see Bucky try to cover his mouth with his hand as he looks away, but he’s not quick enough to hide the fact he’s laughing too.

The team members greet the four of your and head to their separate rooms. You wave and mumble a few hellos. Soon Tony is the only one left, taking in the sight of the group of you.

“Have fun, kids?” he quips.

“Star Wars is always fun,” Sam retorts, earning a grin from you.

“Well, you managed to get _that one,_ ” he points to you, “out of her room, so you must’ve done something right.”

“Maybe we’re just better company, Stark,” Sam states, causing Steve to chuckle.

“Alright, enough of this. It’s getting late and we’ve got training to do tomorrow,” Steve says, using his best Captain America voice.

_Tomorrow._ You gulp, already getting nervous. Bucky glances at you. Oblivious, Sam rolls his eyes at Steve.

“Why you always gotta ruin our fun?”

“I’m actually with the Captain on this one. Bedtime, children. See you bright and early tomorrow.” With that, Tony leaves the room.

Steve gets up, causing Sam to groan as he follows suit. 

“Fine, fine. We’ll have to watch the next one some other time.” He turns to address you. “You’ll watch that with us too, right?”

You nod, evidently satisfying him. You and Bucky stand up at the same time, blocking each other from walking around the couch. You feel your eyes go wide and your face heat up.

“I-uh, sorry,” you manage meekly. 

Bucky just takes a step back, gesturing with a hand for you to go first. You walk by as fast as you can without actually running, Bucky just a step behind. He stays that way, as the group of you walk towards your rooms. You notice that he seems to have positioned himself between you and Sam. Unfortunately, he’s just far enough behind you that you can’t discreetly steal a glance at him, so you keep your gaze locked ahead. As you approach your room, Sam and Steve wish you goodnight and turn to their own rooms. Bucky lingers for just a second, and for the first time that night, you hear his voice.

“Night,” he whispers simply, his voice quiet and raspy.

Before you can even turn to respond, he’s already making his way back down the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked this chapter! I had a lot of fun writing it.
> 
> I'm going to be on vacation for the next 2 weeks, so this will be the last update for a while, but once I get back this should continue with (hopefully) weekly updates.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training with the team takes an interesting turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: anxiety/slight panic attack in this chapter (I tried not to go too in depth with the descriptions). More awkwardness.

“Nice suit!” Sam exclaims as you step into the gym. “I mean, it’s not quite as cool as my wings, but…”

You grin at him as you walk over towards the group of Avengers. You scan the room. Tony and Steve are chatting across the gym, perhaps discussing how to go about integrating you into this whole thing. Bucky leans against the wall, a few feet away from where Sam is standing with the others. While you look at him, he’s staring at the ground. But you’re sure that you feel his gaze on you when you go to stand next to Sam.

The suit in question was courtesy of Tony Stark, designed to somehow tap into your powers and disappear the instant you did. You’d be lying if you said you had any idea of how it worked. But in every test, it had performed admirably. You also didn’t know what it was made out of, but it was apparently bulletproof. It was dark, definitely not flashy, and you liked it that way. Inconspicuous. 

You spent a few minutes standing with the team, mostly listening to them talk. It was primarily idle chatter while you waited for Tony and Steve to give you some instruction. 

“Thanks for the patience, folks,” Tony begins, addressing you all. “We know you’ve been eagerly awaiting a demonstration of our new recruit’s abilities. I think it’s about time we give you a show.”

You swallow. This is it.

Steve gives you a reassuring nod, and you move to stand beside him and Tony. 

“Well, go ahead, kid,” Tony instructs you. 

You close your eyes, focusing on letting go of your physical form. Before you know it, Sam lets out a whistle, while you hear gasps from the other Avengers. Bucky tilts his head slightly, an expression of surprise and intrigue playing across his features. His widened blue eyes sweep across the space that you previously occupied and across the room, as if he couldn’t quite believe that you’d actually vanished.

“As you can imagine, this little disappearing act comes in handy,” Tony notes.

“And we can assure you that she performs more than adequately in the field,” Steve interjects, probably mostly for your benefit. “She’s going to be a valuable asset to the team.”

You’re glad no one can see you at the moment, because all of this attention is leaving you flustered. Unfortunately, you have to re-materialize at some point. 

“Okay, I think that’s sufficient,” Tony says, and you let yourself reappear.

Bucky’s eyes snap to you. That striking gaze meets yours for a millisecond, until you look away. Steve and Tony begin to assign the team members training partners. When Steve turns to you, your nervousness spikes.

“You’re with Bucky. He’s going to help you with stealth and combat,” Steve states. 

You nod, trying to slow your breathing down. It made sense. Being invisible didn’t make you completely undetectable. You could still be heard, so honing the covert skills that you’d already witnessed in Bucky would be helpful. And while you were fairly skilled in combat, you were certain you were nowhere near the level of the rest of the team. Who better to teach you than a supersoldier?

“That was cool,” Sam comments as he walks by you, winking.

And then Bucky is beside you.

“Ready?” he asks, his voice and gaze steady. You nod, which he mirrors, and he leads you towards a training ring. 

“We’ll start with some basic exercises, okay?” 

You nod again as he grabs some gloves and pads. Any uneasiness you’d sensed in him earlier was gone. Clearly, Bucky was in his element here. 

He takes you through some training exercises, teaching you some punching combinations and drills. Then, he puts you on defense and helps you with your guard and dodging. It’s intense, but you have to admit you’re learning a lot. After a while, Bucky suggests you spar. He’s clearly holding back, but you’re keeping up fairly well.

“You’re good,” Bucky observes after some time, “but you’re being too evasive. You should counter back more instead of dodging. You’re going to have to fight at some point.”

He takes a step back, giving you a minute to breathe. He throws off the gloves.

“Here,” he says, stepping back towards you and gesturing at himself. “Hit me.” 

You blink at him.

He almost laughs at you, but stops himself. 

“Don’t worry about it. Come on, throw a punch,” he encourages.

And so you do. But you’re still hesitant to really try and hit him, even though you know he could probably take on everyone in the room at the same time. Obviously, your punch doesn’t connect. He spurs you on, so you continue throwing kicks and punches at him, and Bucky continues to block them consistently. This continues for quite a while, until you throw a particularly strong punch that he catches with his metal hand. His grip closes over your fist, and whatever way he twists you, your faces end up particularly close. You’re inches away from each other, and your eyes meet. Something shifts in his expression, and you find yourself lost in his bright eyes for a few seconds. You snap out of it, and almost without thinking, kick his legs out from under him. For once, Bucky doesn’t see this coming. He hits the ground hard with a thud, grunting.

Your eyes widen and you take a step back as you realize what you just did. Someone, that you’re presuming to be Sam, guffaws from somewhere else in the gym. Bucky blinks his eyes open in shock.

“Oh my-” you stutter, “I-I’m sorry.”

You turn on your heels as fast as you can and dart towards the exit. You think Bucky says something, but you can’t hear what it is with your racing pulse roaring in your ears. You make it out of the door just before you vanish. You lean on the wall of the hallway as you try to calm yourself down. You know that you’re overreacting, but you really never even meant to do it – knock him down or potentially hurt him – especially since he was being so helpful. Honestly, you’re also just shocked that you could even manage it to begin with. And on top of it all, the whole team just watched you take down their friend… then run away. You’re not sure how long you’ve been standing there when Bucky emerges, followed by Steve. You’re grateful that they still can’t see you.

“I don’t even know where she went,” Bucky is saying as they walk into the hallway.

“To her room, probably. You should go find her and talk to her,” Steve replies.

“I don’t want her to feel bad. It wasn’t a big deal. It was a good move, actually,” Bucky continues.

“What actually happened, anyways?” Steve asks.

Bucky pauses.

“I got…” he turns to look away from Steve, “distracted. She took advantage and took my legs out.”

“Distracted?” You see one side of Steve’s mouth quirk up.

Bucky just shakes his head at him.

“Well, on the bright side,” Steve quips, “Sam will have something to laugh about for the rest of the month.”

“Punk.” Bucky shoots back.

As they pass you, you hold your breath. Bucky looks genuinely concerned. Their conversation continues, but you’ve stopped listening. You’re wondering whether or not you want to go back to your room, where Bucky is likely going to go try to find you.

-

You sit on the roof, taking in the New York City skyline. It’s a warm day, but the slight breeze is cool and refreshing. You decided that you weren’t quite ready to go back to your room – you couldn’t really explain to Bucky why it was you ran off. The whole thing just caught you off guard, you supposed. Either way, the roof seemed like a safe place to regain your composure. You’re trying not to think about the fact that you just ran off from the entire team on your first day of training. You sigh.

The door to the roof opens. You’re not sure who it is, but you don’t bother to turn around as you hear them approaching, continuing to stare straight ahead of you. The footsteps near, and something is tossed down into your lap. Your peer down. Your sketchbook.

“I thought you might want that.” Steve.

You glance up at him, and he’s smiling politely as always.

“It’s a nice place to sketch, at least I think so.”

“Thanks.” You smile back at him halfheartedly and turn to look ahead again.

“Hey,” Steve crouches next to you, his tone softening. “You okay?”

You sigh again.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I guess it was just kind of… overwhelming. I’m sorry for freaking out. Maybe I’m not cut out for this,” you say, dropping your head and looking down at your hands. 

Steve puts a hand on your shoulder, and you turn to look at him, your eyes meeting his kind blue ones.

“Don’t say that. It was your first time, and you did great. Pulled one over on Bucky, even,” he smirks. “That’s hard to do.”

You let yourself grin back at him.

“Buck’s fine, by the way. Takes a bit more than a kick to take a super soldier out of action.”

He’s trying to ease your guilt. No way you could have caused any real damage to Bucky. You knew that, but you still felt bad about it. You let out a short laugh despite yourself.

“I’m being ridiculous, I know,” you tell him, shaking your head. “I’ll be okay. Thanks, Steve. Really.”

He nods. 

“Anytime.”

Steve stands to leave, but pauses for a moment.

“Bucky’s looking for you, by the way. Do you want me to tell him you’re up here?”

You chew your lip as you think. You guess you couldn’t avoid him forever. If he wanted to come up here, so be it.

“Okay,” you reply simply.

-

Steve was right; the roof turns out to be a wonderful place to sketch. You recreate the view around you; time ceases to exist as you mark up the pages in your book. That is, until you hear the door to the roof open again. The footsteps are quieter this time, so you can only assume that it’s Bucky. 

Your suspicions turn out to be correct, as the man in question steps up next to you. You peer up at him, as he glances down quickly towards the sketchbook in your hands, before meeting your gaze for just a second.

“Hey,” he says, before scanning his eyes across the view in front of him. 

Bucky must’ve showered since training – his hair is still slightly damp, being ruffled gently by the wind. He’s wearing some dark jeans and a simple t-shirt. He looks perfect, as always.

“Hi,” you reply once you manage to stop ogling him. 

You lay your sketchbook next to you and stand up, so you don’t have to awkwardly crane your neck to look at him. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he starts, speaking quickly. “I mean, you seemed a bit shook up, I hope I didn’t scare you…” 

He sets his vibrant gaze on you again. You sense some kind of anxiety there.

“No, it wasn’t you – I mean,” you take a steadying breath, “You didn’t do anything. I’m sorry I kicked you.” You fumble with your hands, not quite sure what to do with them.

Bucky exhales. He seems almost… relieved. 

“Don’t be. You did good. It was my fault for getting distracted.” He swallows. “I’m supposed to be teaching you how to fight anyways, remember? So you’re going to have to hit me sometimes. If you can catch me off guard again.”

Was that some kind of… joke?

He smiles at you, and you’re immediately entranced. His eyes crinkle up slightly at the corners, light dancing in his blue irises, and you’re sure it’s one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen. You feel yourself smile back shyly. Your eyes meet for a moment, and-

You snap out of it and return to looking at the view. You both stand in silence for a while, the moment gone.

You feel Bucky sneak a glance at you a few times before he speaks.

“So… you, uh, draw?” he asks you. His voice regains some of the rugged quality you’d noticed before, his lighter tone from earlier apparently gone.

You nod, peering over at him.

“Steve, uh, draws too.” 

“Yeah, he told me about that before,” you say, uncertain of how else to reply.

“Yeah, right,” Bucky mutters, looking away and raking a hand loosely through his hair, pushing some strands out of his face. Is he… blushing?

The awkward silence returns, the two of you avoiding eye contact. After what feels like forever, Bucky speaks up again.

“So… I guess I’ll leave you to it,” he swallows. “See you around.”

And again, before you have a chance to reply, Bucky is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the extended break I took - I needed some time to get back into the swing of things with writing and editing these after my vacation. I'm going to try to update this weekly now.
> 
> I'll be totally honest this chapter wasn't my favorite (although necessary for the story), but I really hope you all enjoyed anyways. I did really enjoy writing the next one though, I'll try to get that up soon for you guys.
> 
> Thanks for reading and for being patient with me!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony decides it's time for you to attend your first event as an Avenger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter so far, so I hope you all enjoy. Natasha and Wanda make their first (brief) appearance in any of my works. Lots of firsts for me in this fic.
> 
> No warnings here, not even that much awkwardness.

You were settling into some kind of routine at the tower.

You still spent a lot of time in your room, drawing and trying to keep yourself sane, but for meals you would venture into the kitchen and had become comfortable enough to share a few words with _most_ of your teammates.

You and Bucky also had your own routine. Silently acknowledge each other whenever you were in the same room, silently hover around each other when there were too many people around, and train – the only time you weren’t so silent. In the gym, Bucky would give you feedback, and you would listen. You luckily hadn’t had a repeat of the incident from the first day; it _was_ hard to catch Bucky off guard. There wasn’t really much small talk, as neither of you seemed to be particularly good at it, but it was pretty much the only time the two of you exchanged words when you were alone. You still gravitated towards Sam and Steve, so you would sometimes contribute to discussions with all three of them, but you two never talked one on one outside of the gym.

Until Tony Stark decided to throw a party, that is. 

Apparently, you had to attend your first event as an official team member. Tony was inviting over all sorts of people, and to be honest, you didn’t care enough to find out who. However, Tony was adamant that you attend so he could introduce you to the public, and you were dreading it. Since apparently none of your clothing was appropriate for an _“upscale”_ event and you had no idea what you were supposed to wear, Tony had assigned Natasha and Wanda to find you something.

You’re drawing again, trying to distract yourself from the impending party, when they knock on your door.

“Hey,” Natasha says when you open the door. 

You were glad to have some female company in the tower, but you haven’t had much of a chance to get to know either of them well. Natasha was intimidating, but had never been anything but kind to you. Wanda too. So, you welcome them in.

You smile at them as they enter the room, throwing the piles of clothing they were carrying onto your bed. 

“Proper party wear, courtesy of Tony Stark,” Nat affirms, gesturing to the pile and raising an eyebrow. 

You scan the mess of apparel laying on the bed. Wanda picks up the garment on the top of the pile. She holds it out for you. It’s some kind of dress, and it looks _short,_ and _tight._ You’re sure your eyes must be popping out of your head as your gaze flits between the two of them. Natasha chuckles at you. 

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to wear that if you don’t want to. We have options,” she grins.

“Lots of them,” Wanda lilts, pointing back to the pile and smiling broadly. 

You take a deep breath, and somehow, find yourself smiling back.

“Okay, let’s get started then.”

-

“You look great!” Wanda states excitedly as you finally finish fixing your hair.

You grin sheepishly at her.

“She’s right, you know. Now, shoulders back, head up, and walk into that room like you own it,” Natasha instructs you. 

It’s nice to have someone as confident as she is around, you think. You figured it would be better to enter with Nat and Wanda, as they would _certainly_ take some of the attention off of you. You follow them into the common area.

There are plenty of people there already. You see Steve and Sam amidst the crowd, chatting with a few of the guests. Bucky’s not with them, which strikes you as odd. Tony stands with Bruce and Rhodey, a drink in his hand, and a crowd of people around him. _Ever the socialite._ He’s the first to notice the three of you arrive, and breaks away from his circle to greet you.

“Hey! Charlie’s Angels have finally decided to grace us with their presence. You three look lovely, as always,” he remarks playfully. You inch further behind them as you feel the eyes of the guests land on you.

Tony exchanges a few words with Natasha and Wanda, who then disperse into the crowd, leaving you alone.

“Y/N,” Tony addresses you, “You clean up nice.”

He winks, which causes you to roll your eyes at him. He feigns being insulted.

“Hey now, play nice, we’ve got guests. Let me introduce you to some people.”

Tony takes your arm and escorts you towards the waiting mass of humanity. Your eyes meet Bruce’s momentarily, and he gives you an empathetic look. He didn’t like crowds either. 

You sigh, steeling yourself, and follow Tony.

-

Tony, despite his teasing, was actually quite helpful. He knew what to say if you got stuck, knew when you got overwhelmed, and stopped people before they pushed you too far. You were actually grateful that he stuck with you throughout all of the introductions after all. 

That didn’t mean, however, that you weren’t glad when they were all done. Tony releases you, encouraging you to “enjoy the party.” You resist the urge to scoff at him, and glance around the room. You couldn’t see Natasha or Wanda, but you were sure they were around. As you search, you see Steve and Sam again. They’re still conversing, but you catch their eyes. You wave at them.

Steve smiles and waves back, while Sam shoots you a thumbs up and mouths “looking good.” You giggle as quietly as you can manage. You consider making your way towards them, but they’re still surrounded by people, and you don’t know how much more interaction you can handle. You decide to get a better vantage point and move towards the edge of the room where the crowd is thinner. 

That’s where you finally spot Bucky Barnes. He’s sitting on a couch in an abandoned corner of the room, swirling some kind of drink in his hand. Next to him is a flustered looking Bruce. Just the escape you’d been looking for.

Bucky spots you as you spot him. His eyes go wide when they land on you, and his hand stills. After a moment, he abruptly drops his eyes to whatever’s in his cup. You take in the sight of him.

He’s got on a suit, black on black. You’d never seen him in one before, but wow, it looked _good._ His hair is pushed back out of his face, but a few rogue strands have managed to escape. There’s a black glove covering his metal hand. 

You make you way towards the couch. Bruce offers you a small wave, while Bucky watches you approach. 

“Hi,” you say, sitting on a chair across from the couch where they both sit. Bucky inclines his head in acknowledgement.

“Looking for an escape too?” Bruce asks. You nod.

You got along well with Bruce; he had a calming energy about him. You knew his powers could be unintentionally activated by his emotions too, so you felt a sort of kinship. 

Bucky sips his drink.

“I’m just taking a breather while Tony entertains. I’m sure he’ll call me over again to explain our research to some other celebrity that I don’t know soon enough,” Bruce explains. You chuckle at him.

“Banner! _Science!_ ” Tony yells from somewhere behind you. _Soon enough indeed._

Bruce sighs.

“Guess that’s my cue.”

He gets up, leaving you alone with Bucky.

You glance at Bucky, unsure of what to say. _That dreaded small talk._ He seems to mirror your uncertainty, looking back and forth between you, the crowd, and his drink. Finally, after a slightly uncomfortably long pause, he swallows.

“You, uh, look nice,” Bucky offers uncertainly. He peers back down into his glass, swirling the contents again. 

The compliment strikes you off guard. It takes you a second, but you manage a reply.

“Oh, um, thanks. Y-you do too.”

His crystalline eyes meet yours, and he gives you a small smile, one corner of his mouth pulling upwards. He lays down his cup, eyes leaving yours momentarily, and shifts in his chair. He tugs at the sleeve of his suit with his eyebrows knitted, discomfort evident on his face.

You watch him, trying to fight back the laugh that’s threatening to escape. You can’t help it; he looks so funny, this invincible, deadly super soldier… struggling with a suit. He notices, meeting your gaze again, and quirks an eyebrow.

The laughter escapes you. Bucky narrows his eyebrows again, but you can tell he’s fighting off a smile.

“I’m sorry,” you manage once you catch your breath. “You look uncomfortable.” 

Bucky huffs.

“I hate suits,” he pouts, raking a hand back through his hair. His eyes scan the room. “And I hate parties.”

“Me too,” you agree, and he sets his gaze back on you. He seems to consider this for a moment.

“Uh, you know, lots of people, stress… _gone,_ ” you explain, gesturing to yourself. _Well said._

Bucky nods in comprehension. 

“I wish Steve didn’t make me come to these things,” he grumbles, adjusting his jacket again.

“I wish _Tony_ didn’t make _me,_ ” you echo.

Bucky laughs, _really laughs,_ and looks up at you again. The glint in his eyes, his perfect smile; they set your heart racing. You have to look away, but you chuckle too, shaking your head. 

“I hate to tell you, but Stark hosts these way too often,” he says, smirking at you. You wonder if he can hear the sound of your heartbeat.

“Can’t wait,” you retort.

Bucky laughs again. For a moment, you two just watch each other. He tilts his head slightly, studying you, mouth still twisted into a smirk. And for the first time, you can see it – a glimpse the man Steve said he used to be, before all of this. His mood seems lighter; there’s playfulness in his eyes. And it’s _beautiful._

“Hey Steve! They’re over here!” A voice shouts from behind you. _Sam._

Bucky glowers at him over your shoulder. He sets his mouth back in a hard line, eyes narrowed. His glare follows Sam as he takes a seat beside him on the couch. You try not to smirk.

“You recluses having a good time or what?” Sam asks you, ignoring the daggers that Bucky is shooting at him with his eyes. 

You raise an eyebrow in response. Sam chuckles. 

“Well, I’m sure Frosty is happy to finally have someone else who hates socializing around to keep him company.”

Bucky scoffs at him, and picks his drink back up.

“You did good tonight, by the way,” Sam addresses you again. “Looked good too,” he adds, smirking. Bucky gives him a sidelong glance as he sips his drink.

“Thanks,” you reply, grinning.

Steve finally makes an appearance, taking a seat on the other side on Bucky on the couch. 

“Hey, you two good?” he asks you and Bucky, clapping his friend on the back lightly. You and Bucky both nod at him. He smiles.

“Tony says you were great tonight. I’m proud of you,” Steve says to you earnestly. 

“Thank you,” you answer sheepishly. It was nice to have Captain America praise you, you decide. 

Sam leans back on the couch and gestures towards you.

“First party – success! Although, I don’t think it went _quite_ as well as your first training session…” he trails off, turning to look at Bucky.

Bucky glares at him again. “I hate you.”

You fight back laughter; Steve shakes his head. 

-

The party winds down, you spend the rest of your time chatting amicably with Steve, Sam and Bucky – or, more accurately, watching the latter two try not to kill each other. You don’t even notice people leaving until most of the guests are gone. Wanda and Natasha bid you goodnight before they leave. Tony congratulates you on not vanishing, and then retires for the night. You stay a few more minutes, but you feel drained from all of the excitement. Stifling a yawn, you stretch your arms and stand from your chair, interrupting Sam as he talks about his _bird… droid? Robot?_

“Hey,” Sam exclaims as he sees you stand, “leaving so soon?”

“Sorry,” you mumble, offering him a small smile. “You can tell me all about it another time.”

“It’s a _he,_ not an _it,_ ” Sam corrects you.

Steve laughs.

“It’s late,” he remarks, glancing at his watch. “See you tomorrow, Y/N.”

You nod.

“See you guys.”

Sam wishes you goodnight. Bucky’s eyes linger on you, so you raise your hand in a small wave. He does the same, and you turn to return to your room. As you walk away, you can’t help but feel like you’re being watched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this chapter. Things are slowly starting to happen here (spoiler alert: angst incoming).
> 
> As always thank you guys for reading and for all the feedback so far!


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